don't want to stop.

my stomach is made of knots.
time has passed me by so slowely and still
nothing.
nothing at all.
nothing that i can say made my day
made me smile
made me want to wake up in the morning.

and this is only the beginning.

tomorrow when and if i hear your voice i will forget all this dumb emotions that are grinding at my stomach and my soul.
i will forget how i wanted to die the night before.
and for something so miniscule and irrelevant.

i feel like there is meaning there with you.
i feel like i can look in your eyes and find the answers to every question i have ever had and every question i make in the future.
but i could just have made some temporary pedestal for you to grow at.
for you to glow and gleam and provoke me.
for you to love and hold and create me.

it all could just be... me.

i have fallen quicker then ever before.
all for something i can not understand.
someone i have known forever but barely met.
someone that is caught up in me just as i have been caught up in others.
but is it enough?
is it enough to push my trust issues aside?
my bruised heart hands and soul?
i was fine before but i felt even better yesterday.

awake in me is now some sort of commitment.
some sort of dream.
ad i will live with it forever i fear.
i fear i will never rejoice and hear the words i want come out of your lips.
your lips that i just want to touch.
to worship.

im lost.
please forgive me.